My Best Friend, My Love

i met Korrie eleven years ago. she was just starting college, a beautiful young girl excited about life. i was the disillusioned recent graduate.

thinking back about those times, i realize i how easy it was to talk to her. she was, and still is, full of wonder and questions, eager to listen to my stories, to sit for hours over coffee, talk and laugh.

it wasn't until six years later, after i'd left kentucky for the west and things unkown, traveled to asia and great britain, hiked the AT and hitch-hiked from colorado to virginia, that i moved back to kentucky and found myself sitting with Korrie in my butternut yellow trailer, drinking coffee and smoking hand-rolled cigarettes. we ended up talking about what we wanted out of life. i saw her again, for the first time, with new eyes and a new heart.

on february 13th we started "dating" -- on april 5th we were engaged. it was an intense five weeks. our six-year friendship was a fertile soil for our love to grow; our conversations were serious, deep, soul-searching and soul-revealing. i remember one particular conversation we had at TGI-Friday's. Korrie said she had something to tell me, but she was afraid it would push me away. i instantly reacted from a past hurt and said she should tell me everything. my mind raced and raced, trying to forsee what possible, terrible thing she could say. she delayed and my mind raced as i searched her face, her eyes, for what she was going to say. suddenly i knew. i told her i knew. i knew what she was going to say. she didn't believe me, so i asked if she wanted me to say it first. she responded with a defiant air, "go ahead." i simply said, "i love you too."

we were engaged for 14th months, and on a fine sunny day in June, with the ever-present threat of rain, we were married. outside. barefoot. it was the happiest and scariest day of my life, embarking on this new journey into the unkown, with my best friend, my love.

four years and two kids later, we're still discovering ourselves and each other. our friendship continues to deepen, our love continues to grow.

Jesse is Two!

We celebrated in simple fashion at Jesse's second birthday party on Jan. 12th. The only invitees to attend were the Rapach's. Abby and Jesse had a blast together as usual and both enjoyed their turn at the "mine" game.

in two short/long years we've become pros at the diaper table and i consider myself an expert at "doing things with one hand while holding the baby." we've seen our patience grow, our nerves fray, our resolve strengthen and our hair gray. we've also fallen in love a thousand times with our daughter. everyday an adventure, everyday a trial.

years ago, as i imagined the family i might one day have and knowing i wanted a lot of kids, i always pictured myself having a boy first (ideally to alternate boy/girl). when we went to that fateful doctor's visit for the ultrasound, i just knew in my heart we were having a boy. even when i saw the images on the monitor, i just knew i saw male parts. but then she exclaimed, "it's a girl!" i did a double-take, and asked if she was sure. She, of course, replied she had a 100% track-record at reading ultrasounds, yet i was unconvinced. i prayed and wrestled with God for about a week. "a girl?" "a girl first?" i told myself it was for Korrie. i told myself it was so she could help with the other kids. God knew it was for me. . .now i know it was for me. God also refused to answer my prayers for a job, so i stayed at home. for a year and a half i was a Stay at Home Dad with Jesse. it was tough, in more ways than one, but it gave me a bond with Jesse i might not otherwise have had, and that i cherish. she is a beautiful, wonderful girl; a daughter of the Most High, and i get the privilege of being her Daddy.

At Home

Life as three has now been replaced with life as four. Korrie had another wonderful pregnancy and another phenomenal birth experience. We got to the hospital around 9am on Oct. 23 and Zeke was born at 12:55. Korrie once again did it all without even a hep-loc. We are both very thankful for a healthy boy and a natural birth experience.

The Lord is pushing us in new ways as we discover ourselves through our kids. The way memories flood my mind as i see Jesse play and try to talk and describe her world, her thoughts, her needs and wants is overwhelming. Looking at Zeke and seeing my childhood again, i stare in wonder as i reflect on the roads i've taken, the obstacles i've encountered, who i've been, who i've become, and what the future holds for us. The things i once thought i wanted have slowly and suddenly changed into what i find myself day-dreaming of today. Wanderlust no longer grips my mind; instead i dream of long summer days on the farmstead, playing with my kids in the hay in our barn, moving the animals from pen to field, gathering eggs and tending the garden. Well...i've got Korrie, and the kids, and i count my blessings every night. The farm will come in time, meanwhile i dream (usually during the diaper changes:-)