My Son

The other day i was driving to work, thinking about being away from my kids, wondering what they were doing while i was gone. my mind drifted to thoughts about being a father. sometimes reality hits you when you're unaware. things dawn on you, things you already knew, thought about, realized; you just realize them anew. being the father of a daughter is something i'm getting used to, learning about and enjoying. being father to a son is still freaking me out. he's wonderful, happy, smiley, talkative and strong. Ezekiel means "God strengthens" or "Whom God makes strong."
there are times when i am paralyzed by all the mistakes i could make, but most of the time i'm just in awe, thankful and excited about raising a boy and helping him become a man.
i feel an even closer kinship with my own father. i want to honor him and the way he raised me, helped me become a man. i pray, not enough, but i pray that the Lord makes me a good father, gives me wisdom and patience in raising my kids. it's too early to talk about the differences in raising a girl and a boy, but it feels different; scares me in different ways, makes me happy in different ways.

a dream

My dream is a simple one. my dream is to be simple, to live a simple life, to do simple things. i want to farm. that is, i want to live on a farm, raise my kids on a farm, go to work out my back door, eat all my meals at home, actually see the fruit of my labor, and do something i believe in. i've been researching sustainable farming and homesteading for about four years now. i've also followed land prices over that time. i designed a dream home and two barns, laid out the farm paddocks, looked into windmill well pumps, ponds, alternative energy sources, woodstoves, direct marketing livestock and anything else i could think of. so here's a peak at my dream:

i see a hand-hewn log home with a large family room, large kitchen and a dining room table that seats 12 so there's always room for friends and family. there's a small barn with equipment shed and a larger livestock barn to keep the Belgian draft horses and for milking the goats. there's a small orchard with apples and pears, a grape arbor, strawberry and blackberry patches and a half-acre garden for fresh veggies. there's one hill-side that's covered in wild flowers for Jesse.
Some Highland Cattle are grazing in the field beside a stand of trees. To me, Highlands are the perfect combination of smarts, looks, size and hardiness. they're a very gentle, long-haired breed of cattle from the rugged highlands of Scotland. they are considered a heritage breed since they haven't changed or been "improved" like the commercial breeds. their hair provides a layer of warmth and protection, thus they don't carry the extra layer of fat and suffer less from diseases and parasites that plague many commercial breeds. they are also excellent mothers and calf easily.


in the pasture nearby are a few sheep. there are two breeds i'm thinking about. the first is the Scottish Blackface, which are also a hardy breed from Scotland. they are "hair" sheep and their wool is popular with fiber artists, rug makers and the finest grades go into the famous Harris tweeds.
the other contender for sheep breed is the Dorset. they are a dual-purpose breed, good for both wool and meat.
both breeds have some appeal , though the Dorset is much more popular and thus, available.

in a pen beside the livestock barn there are a few goats frollicking. the Nigerian Dwarf goat is a smaller breed of milk goat that many people keep as pets. they are cute, fun and great milkers for their size. i hope that we can make cheese and soap from goats milk.

i also see a couple of Tamworth hogs rooting around, preparing the garden, cleaning up brush for new pasture and making everyone laugh. they are touted as the best homestead pig for their easy going nature, their lean meat and their personality. they're also a heritage breed that hasn't been affected by commercialization.

Of course we can't forget the chickens!! Barred Rocks are prodigious brown egg layers. they have long been a favorite of farmers. i like their look and hope to have plenty of eggs to sell. i also want to try raising broilers on pasture in "chicken tractors." i've done quite a bit of research on pastured poultry and the health benefits as well as quality and taste of the meat appear very impressive.

i think about the farm everyday, and every day i have to go to work for someone else is motivation to work even harder to realize my dream. Someday i will walk out my back door, collect eggs, move chickens, hitch up the Belgians to mow hay, spend the afternoon repairing fence, piddle in the barn, and eat food i raised and grew for dinner.